6 reasons I still might probably get a cat even though my roommate is allergic.

I have two roommates that are really lovely. They are craigslist roomies which means they are strangers from the internet and I had about 20 minutes with them before I had to decide if they were a) rapists and b) if I could handle the amount of dishes they do/don’t clean.

It’s all-good because it turns out they aren’t rapists and we have successfully shared a house for about a year now.

One problem we’ve recently run up against at number 166 however is that the older I get the more I feel the need to surround myself with furry things that have to love me unconditionally…and my roommate is allergic to cats.

Here is a list of 6 reasons I still might sneak down to the Toronto Humane society and just make a big decision about another creatures life. Just ‘cos I can y’all! YOLO!! (or YOLN – you only live nince, which is my way of making nine lives…jokes..cats… Hey look over there! *runs*)

6. A cat is going to cuddle me way more than my roommate.
Sorry Dani, but how many times have you hopped up on the couch to rub your head against my leg? Hmmm?

5. A cat is going to do funny things I can post on the internet.
When was the last time you ran into a door frame chasing a laser? That’s what I thought.

4. A Cat is going to be so happy when I feed it disgusting stuff out of a tin.
Are you?

3. A Cat is going to hang out with me all day when I’m bored.
Oh so you have “school” or you’re “hanging out with your friends.” That’s cool. You know who isn’t doing those things? My cat.

2. A Cat isn’t going to judge me when I’m drinking that bottle of Bailey’s alone laughing hysterically at Goat video’s online.

1. A cat is going to let me dress it up and take pictures of it and post them on instragram.

Are you Dani? I didn’t think so.

Well at least life is interesting

Sometimes I forget that not everyone travels around and lives in different places as easily as I do. I don’t feel particularly different from the people I meet, and I try to live in the moment as much as possible. I have been living in Toronto for almost 2 years (June 12 is my 2 year Anniversary with Canada) and I guess at this point I’m surprised when people think its neat that I am from Australia.

Oh yeaaaah, I’m from Australia. Right.

People is People, as they say (in the muppets 1984) and to be honest, I forget you are all Canadian.

Buuuuut…eesh…awkward…I’m not really from Australia, because I’ve now lived more years overseas than I ever did in the land of my Parents and Grandparents (cheers for the sweet passport). There are days when I miss Sydney like crazy, but I realize it’s the people and the time that it represented that I miss the most (Uni days with the best girlfriends and guyfriends in the world). Okay I miss the Harbour Bridge and King street Newtown, the Beaches and Paddington, but the great thing about my little Navy Passport with the Kangaroo and Emu on it, is that I can go back any time.

And I honestly feel like I COULD just slot back in there. Familiar streets, familiar faces.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I secretly FREAK out when it comes to change, but they also know that I am constantly making myself do weird things and change-it-up because I am like two people sharing the same personality. One, a quiet homebody type who doesn’t really want to rock the boat and wants to live a quiet, friendly, calm, stable life, and the other a crazy, Adventurous, eccentric type who says “f^%$ you, I do what WANT!” And moves to the otherside of the world with no warning.

Like on April 3rd 2013.

On April 3rd 2013 I’m going home to Hong Kong for 7 weeks to work as an Assistant Stage Manager on a rather huge production, home to the land of my High School friends, my mother, and our Irritating but adorable Cat Guinness.

Guinness the Cat

Guinness the Cat

The homebody me at first dismissed the idea of going:

Homebody Me: What about the opportunities here you may miss out on? What about your room, you’ll have to find a sublet, what about…what about…what about…

But luckily for me, my eccentric side listened to the many naggings on my mother, and simply decided, “screw this, I’m going”…and booked a ticket, confident that the rest would just fall into place. (Which it always does)

And with each day that passes since I simply made up my mind to go, I’m getting more and more excited. Because the Adventurous me gets nervous when things are a bit too quiet, and what seems more fun? Temping and doing Volunteer TV stuff, or going to Asia and working on a West End like production? If the universe unfolds as it should, and with the Job market such a dogs breakfast over here…maybe I was meant to take this opportunity all along?

With my new 2 year Canadian work visa up for renewal, and the idea that I will continue to live in Toronto for the next two years, the homebody part of me is somewhat satisfied that there is stability on the horizon.

And the adventurous part of me is PSYCHED to learn some new things, meet some new people, reconnect with old friends, and generally spend some time deviating from the norm some more.

I am an Australian born, Asia Bred girl of 24 who lives in Canada.

Got all that? Good.

Animals I would be better at being than a human

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7. An Elephant
Because: Elephants are wise and big and nobody can really fuck with them (except evil poachers). They have great family lives (have you SEEN the footage of the baby elephant being reunited with its mum? TEAR JERKER!) I love Elephants so much. They are great. No more explanation needed.

6. A Dog
Because: Dogs are great and terribly excitable things. The dog downstairs is annoying me right now by crying its little heart out (they are crate training him) but literally everything in this dogs life is the best and most exciting thing ever. Toy?! THE BEST! Go outside for a pee? THE BEST! Annoy the cat?!? THE BEST. You get the idea. I’d love to have that level of energy to be honest. And to be so generally joyful and optimistic

5. An Eagle
Because: A) I would like to fly and B) I would like to be considered deadly (I think we can safely assume small critters are bat-shit-terrified of Eagles). But mainly the flying thing. Also if I was an American eagle that would be cool because I’d be American (and could therefore just go and live in New York…although I suppose I wouldn’t want to if I was an eagle) and also because then I’d be all revered and stuff. And lets be honest…who doesn’t want that?

4. A Tiger
Because: DUH. Tigers are epic. If you don’t think Tigers are cool, you are probably just some bitter creature that is afraid of being eaten. Or had a relative eaten. Not only are Tigers gloriously beautiful, they are aggressive cranky beasts that people fear and respect (which I would be okay with) and they can pretty much do whatever they want. Oh you’re in a jungle? That’s okay, you are the scariest thing out there (Except monkeys if there are some in the jungle where you are. But I am biased. I just don’t like monkeys) and you can do what you want.

3. A Pig
Because: Pigs seem like very happy creatures. Lets move away from the sadness of the fact that pigs become bacon (which I love) and the hilarity of this as my third choice considering I am now dating my lovely Jewish boyfriend (who is so not kosher) and focus instead on how awesome pigs are. They are pretty awesome! They are cute and squeaky and they get to roll around in mud a lot (duh, funnest thing ever). Pigs are smart and funny, two things I try to be in my daily life, but wouldn’t it be cooler if I was smart and funny AND a pig. Yes I think so.

Side Note: When I was in year 11 I was a prefect and we went on a leadership training week in Thailand at a ridiculously amazing boarding school in Chang Mai. We did fancy seminars and bonding sessions. During one seminar, I will never forget the exercise where we had to describe the person on our left as an animal. To my right was Graham, a chinese guy (don’t forget I went to School in Hong Kong, and although it was the Australian International School of Hong Kong, we had a lot of Hong Kong, first language Cantonese students) who was very sweet and who I was friends with. You had to stand up in front of everyone and say why you thought this person was like the animal you had chosen. Graham stood up and told everyone (in his not perfect english) that I most reminded him of a pig. Cue snorts from all the western kids, and a mortified look from me. Graham went on to describe the pig as it is depicted in the Chinese Astrology world, something along these lines (I just hit up google)

Pigs are models of sincerity, purity, tolerance, and honor. When you first meet them, Pigs seem too good to be true. They are careful and caring, obliging and chivalrous. Put your trust in him, he won’t let you down and he will never try to. The Pigs simply want to do everything right.

Pigs are the people everyone admires most.

It was sweet, but I’ll never forget that awkward first moment, before the culture clash became so obvious.

2. A Dolphin
Because: Dolphins are the class clown of the sea. Everybody loves them! (Except the Japanese who maybe love them too much in a rough way, like when a little kid pats its pet too hard…oh no wait, whales, I’m thinking whales. My bad). Dolphins are badass. They can do tricks, they’re smart…they’re one of the only animals I know of, apart from humans, that participate in gang-rape (…wow this bit got a bit depressing) um…getting back on track. Dolphins are cool. They get to swim all the time (I’m down for that) and they make cute squeaking noises all the time which are adorable. How come whenever I talk too much people don’t make awwww faces at me?

1. A Cat.
Because? My two favourite things are lying stretched out in the sun and looking adorable. If I was a cat I could post so many videos of myself online and get all the youtube love (and hate, but those youtube trolls are never really that mean to cats). I could also get really fat and still be cute. Okay I think I’d get over shitting in a box pretty quickly, but hey, I’ve seen cats (on youtube) using a toilet. I’ve also seen cats using forks, playing the keyboard and talking. I think this could really work out for me lifestyle-wise.

Have you caught onto the trend I just realized? I basically want to be either powerful and feared, or cute and adorable.

Huh. Well there you go. I don’t need to waste money on therapy. I have myself all figured out!