“Trendy” things that need to die

Maybe I’m just too old for this shiz, but some things that are considered “cool” these days are just too hideous from where I’m standing.
I’m not trying to control your creativity, and I’m not saying that I could maybe think some of these things are actually AMAZING idea’s (when I’m three shots of Jack Daniels Deep).
I’m just saying, sober, I’d rather the following would cease to exist.


The Half/Side Shave Head Thing for women:
Uhhhhhrhhhhgghh. You did what-now to your head? I think girls with shaved heads can be sexy, and I think girls with long hair can be sexy. Should you mix those two together? What are you a commitment-phobe or something? Why are you trying out two hairstyles at the same time?! What is this madness?! Yay, you’re such an individual…now that this look has become total mainstream. Hello? Oh it’s 2008 calling, they said it’s been 5 years since this look was a thing, probs should think of something else now, like dyeing your hair aquamarine. Good luck growing out your hair past that awkward tufty stage.


Sweet baby Cheeses how I hate those four letters in that combination. If you use that word, we aren’t friends and we never will be, until you spend some time on a desert island by yourself, cultivating a personality and a special relationship with a Volleyball (WIIIIIIILLLLSSSSOOOOONNN). I think David Clark (played by my future husband Jason Sudekis) summed it up the best in ‘We’re the Millers’ (a surprisingly funny Jennifer Aniston movie) when he said:
“You couldn’t have sent us a text….LOL picture of a whale…hashtag YOLO”.
Right on future hubs. Right on.

Playsuit MyYard patterned Jonathon Aston hold ups from myTights (1) shoes New Look necklace Love hearts and crosses

The Playsuit
Maybe I’m just drinking the hate-o-rade on this one because I definitely do NOT have the body to pull this fashion item off, but I think playsuits are done. If you aren’t ridiculously skinny and amazing, it kindof looks like you’re wearing a nappy. See ya in the next fashion upswing Ugly.


The term “Swag”
First off, if you are using the term Swag, then I am already cooler than you (and that is saying something because I’m not cooler than many people) and also, no. Just no. You were obviously born after 1995, and I can’t take people who don’t know the words to all the Spice Girls songs seriously.

1217_ExpLife_OSL_WedgeSneaker_03The Wedge Sneaker
This trend isn’t even *that* old and yet I wish that the person who thought this was an incredible idea had instead turned their madness into something excellent, like raincoats for penguins, or something equally as functional and useful. What I don’t get is, why am I strangely attracted to these? I like lace up boots, I like my wedges, and my sneakers are comfy so I feel love towards them. This item however is the mutant love child of those things and must be killed before it burns down the village! SHUNnnnnnn.


Feeling kindof like Grandpa Simpson over here



All the 17 year olds be like: you are so uncool!

Whatever bitch, I’ll just be over here with my wine that I bought ALL BY MYSELF with my ID and everything.

# whale symbol smiley face YOLO


Temping, Prositution of the Corporate world


temp [tɛmp] Informal
a person, esp a typist or other office worker, employed on a temporary basis
vb (intr)
to work as a temp

Turns out Temping is better paid than retail (not by much, but enough for me to go buy those Croc boots which I swear aren’t ugly, just give me a chance to show you) and because I continue to be ignored by the world of Full Time work in an industry that I am dying to work in, I decided to give Temping a go. Since the beginning of the month I have taken on four different assignments, 2 x 1 day assignments, 2 x 1 week assignments, and learned about a whole new world that I never knew existed.

The world of the Temp.

Let me give you a little run down.

The world of the Temp is a place ungoverned by your average 9-5. You wake up at 7.30am with the hope that at 8am, someone (Pimp) will call you and tell you they need you at XYZ location, and the dress code is *blank*. You slap on some make-up, make sure you vaugely know where you are going and sprint out the door. On the train you wonder again what you are doing with your life, but the other part of your brain says “this is the last job, I promise you. We’ll get the money and then move to Florida.” You get to the destination, you make small talk, find out what the client (John) likes and what they need. You settle down, close your eyes, and daydream you are somewhere else (like at a real job). When it’s all over, they thank you plenty of times, and you shuffle out clutching your time sheet. You buy yourself a couple of drinks to try to forget the disappointment in your mothers eyes.

Temping is the Prostitution of the corporate world.

But you know what? I don’t hate it.

My first two assignments were in Film and Television production companies, and you bet your Chihuahua’s left nut that I worked it like I was on the sinking Titanic and had to get my third-class ass on a lifeboat. The one day gig was a bit of a bust, it was a monday and quiet as hell, but the week long gig yielded fun, a bit of professional networking with an awesome Aussie guy who took my resume and some new surprising friendships with girls my own age who worked in the company. Turns out some of them had been in the same boat as me and some of them even got their jobs after temping first.

Actually, when I started to look into it, Temping seemed to be one of the ways a bunch of people I know got their full-time jobs. They’d go for an assignment and the company would say, you know what, why don’t you stay on, or, why don’t you give us your resume to take a look at. It was kind of like a pre-interview. And hell with the number of resumes and cover letters I have sent off, any chance of getting into ANY company as more than just a name on a piece of paper is a big bonus.

So why did I always think there was such a stigma attached to Temping? I couldn’t even tell you. Maybe there is, but now that I’ve joined the ranks I just don’t care. The job market is so tough out there, and lots of people who want to do what I want to do are stuck in menial jobs, frittering away their youth and talent.

I’d rather wake up each day with the fresh and exciting opportunity of meeting someone that may assist with opening a career door for me, than be marking down sweaters for the third time this week.

End Rant