The wonderful world of Tinder

For those of you sheeple who don’t know what Tinder is, prepare your anus’s. This shit is hilarious.

Imagine an App on your phone that uses your location, and that you log into with Facebook. It takes your 4/5 most recent profile pics, your age, your interests and thats it. You can edit this of course, but there’s really not much to be said or done.

Here’s my face. My age and my name. I’m within 50 miles of you. Do your worst.

Then theres a heart symbol and an X symbol.

If you think the person is hot/hilarious looking, then heart, if not X it and a big NOPE gets stamped on their photo.

This app is fantastic for those people with short attention spans (me) and who have thinly veiled judgemental tendancies (also me…and almost everyone I know).

If you and the person you flick past both click the heart symbol then a chat opens up and you can speak to them. If one of you X’s the other then ba-bow. See you never.

It’s a pretty funny app, and definitely a time waster when you’re sick of Candy Crush (I hate you level 29).

But there are some instantly recognizable NOPE- dude moments to be found when scrolling through the available men of Toronto (maybe each city has its own special blend of NOPE moments, but no I feel the epidemic is worldwide).

 Dude NOPE moments on Tinder:

1. You’re taking a picture of yourself in the Mirror
You may or may not have your shirt off. mmmm NOPE

2. You’re with a baby in your picture. 
Totally that could be your niece, but i’ve got 0.5 seconds to make a judgement call here. I’m going with NOPE.

3. All I can see is a part of your body.
Is this a profile for your perfectly chiselled chest? Let me get my less-than-chiselled thigh online and see if she’s interested. NOPE.

4. There are 50 of you in the photo
Which one are you? I just don’t care to find out at this point, because I am lazy. NOPE.

5. You’re with your girlfriend in the picture…
REALLY?! Nope.

6. You’re in what looks like a picture with your bride!?
WTF! NOER-PE.

7. We have 77 mutual friends and I know you really well, and actually – you’re not a great guy, and I (not so) secretly kind of hate you, a bit, and stuff.
My friend tells me if you see someone you know on Tinder you have to give them a courtesy like. But my response to that Rachel is N.O.P.E

Is Tinder the future of meeting people/dating?

I don’t know/don’t care. It certainly is more fun than being humiliated constantly by Candies.

 

 

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