I achieved Being alive today

What constitutes a good day?

For some, it is not getting eaten by           lions, having clean water to drink,          having enough food and shelter and a supportive family that loves you. But this is not a world vision special, and I am talking first-world-problem good days (sorry world-vision, you do good work but your ads make me sad and this is a ranty blog post, not a saddy one).

For me, a good day is one where my boobs point in the right direction and the huge blemish that keeps re-occurring around PMS time, even though I am now 23 and WELL past adolescence, is less red and angry then the day before. A good day is one where I don’t consume 30,000,000,000 calories in the office due to boredom and there are interesting updates on facebook.

But what else constitutes a good day? Logic tells me (going back to our world vision special) that if I have my health and freedom from persecution, then indeed the world is gumdrops and lollipops, a magical land of chocolate rivers and oh look an oompa loompa! Oh no…it’s just a dwarf. Little person? Midget?

I digress.

2011 is the first year that I have not been at school. At first, it was liberating, then terrifying, then I was apathetic, then sad, then angry. It’s been a fun ride of hormonal upswings.

My goals and dreams are the gold plated kind, the soar amongst the moon and stars and eagles variety (gosh I’m using a lot of imagery in this post, my poetry lecturer would be proud). If I wanted to be a banker, I’d (presumably) go and work in a bank. If I wanted to be an underwater detective, I’d have completed the Certificate IV in underwater dectetivery.

But no. I want to be a writer, and an actor, and a director. And so I work in a camp office. In Toronto.

I’ve been finding it hard of late to get my creative juices flowing, to find the inspiration (and angst) that used to pour out from me as a teenager. I thrive under pressure, and with only myself to set deadlines and beat up if I don’t do them, I’ve found that projects I’ve started have been…well…erm…oh look a procrastination shiny thing over there!

You see, a good day for me is getting down on paper the creative bits and pieces that I promise myself I will capture. Because in the industry I want to DOMINATE, no one is going to hand you the tools or the jobs. I believe that the creative industries are changing, and to succeed, you have to create your own projects. Be your own task master, as difficult as it may be.

I worry that at 23, with a full time job that saps me dry so that come 6pm, all I want to do is zone out and watch 30 Rock, I’ve lost the fight, the drive, the will to conquer, to accomplish, to succeed.

Oh look. 500 words exactly of creative outlet.

8th November: Task completed

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One thought on “I achieved Being alive today

  1. ah aren’t you are a wonderful chip off a wonderful (old) block. parentheses, because she is NOT old and would kill me otherwise.

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