Hi, I’m Paris, and I’m funnier than you.
Awkward Obligatory Intro
Oh hi there.
Thanks for being curious enough about the girl behind this blog to click that link.
Now I feel all shy and pressured… QUICK PARIS! WRITE SOMETHING WITTY!
Okay well now there’s shouting and I might as well just leave if that’s how you’re going to speak to yourself.
Ok lets try this again.
I’m a twenty five year old living in Toronto, Canada. Australian by passport, I’ve lived in a number of different countries in my quarter of a century, mostly in Asia. Hence the name of this blog, Austra (as in Australian), Alien as in never truly fitting anywhere. An illegal Alien without the illegal. An Expat Brat with plenty of Ex’s and very few Rats…uh…what? Moving on.
I Write, I Produce, I Direct, I do on-air stuff, I can sing I can dance, after all this is France, and the dinner here is never second best… oh sorry. Brief Beauty and the Beast Dance break.
I have been a Social Media Coordinator for a Reality TV Show, A local Reporter, Assistant Stage Manager to a brand new Musical about the Handover…to say there are many strings to my employment bow would be an understatement and we don’t take too kindly to those types around here. Overstatements or statements. Nothing else will do.
Get to know me:
String cheese or Cream Cheese?
Obviously String cheese because playing with your food is one of life’s little joys. If I could eat with my hands at every meal and not get stared at, I WOULD. I need to move to Ethiopia or India or something, we have perfectly good utensils right here! *waves hands in flailing motion*
Have you ever had an awkward experience in an elevator:
Yes, including my first day of work experience when I couldn’t stop laughing hysterically due to nerves and the time I got trapped in a lift in Cambodia with someone who suffered from Claustrophobia. Those are the PG ones anyway.
Would you rather make out with Bill Clinton or Barack Obama:
Obvs Obama (he’s all yours Monica, bleurgh)
What is your weird food obsession currently:
Nutella and sliced up Apples.
Travel, Television Production, Salt and Vinegar flavoured anything, Reading, Binge Drinking and Brunch (together), Reddit, Blogging, Instagram, Driving around at Sunset, Autumn, The Ocean, Dim Sum, Animals, My family, Standup, People that use the world “Literally” when it isn’t in anyway Literal (you guys are silly), Karaoke, Shots, Romantic Comedies, Jason Sudekis, Documentaries, Seth Rogan, Jason Segal, Ice Hockey, Snow, Meryl Streep, Chocolate, lying in bed with the sun streaming in, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey and all the funny women who make me proud to be a funny woman.
Onions, Tomatoes, Racism, Homophobia